Decisions, decisions.

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After my last two tries, my tutor is finally likes my third script. I went extremely personal with it which made me very nervous. I feel a bit too overexposed and I had to modify a lot of it to make it less cultural. I’m still not very happy with the ending but I have time to fix it. For now, I’m just relieved that we have finally agreed on something.

I’m contemplating taking an acting course which lasts for 15 weeks. There are several obstacles though. First of all, I start my German course on Monday and it’s twice a week which will add a lot of extra work on top of the huge load that I have for school. I’m already incredibly stressed and barely have time for a social life. Okay, my social life does not exist. Second of all, I intend to continue the writing group with my girls which is not working out too well due to everyone being sick all the time. However, we want to start some film projects outside of school which I need to figure out the logistics of. We also start shooting at the end of March until mid-May so I’d be pretty busy with all of that.

This acting course seems really intense and I would need to meet up with my scene partners to practice on top of the 3 hour sessions. Taking this course will help me a lot with directing actors I think because it will allow me to understand the way they work better. I’ll sleep on it for a few more days before deciding I guess. I’m worried for my sanity… AHHHH.

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Kill Your Darlings

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I enjoyed Kill Your Darlings. It was the first time I’ve seen Daniel Radcliffe in a role outside of HP and I think he pulled it off quite well. Oftentimes it is hard to get two co-stars to have good chemistry but Dane and Dan had great chemistry together and their sexually charged scenes together were electrifying. It was interesting how they were able to pull one event out of the lives of these people and make a film around that event. I can’t believe this is the Director’s first feature film because it was a really good first effort.

The focus puller must have had a heck of a time.

Alles gut!

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It’s been awhile since I have updated! I’ve been internet-less for the past while and only got it back two days ago. It was a bit rough because there was a lot of work I needed to do for school that required the internet and I also needed to send important emails. It has been a stressful couple of weeks and there’s still a lot to do. Our shoots went fairly well though I was the last person to shoot and therefore my energy levels were extremely low. I was also really dissatisfied with my actor as we have worked with him in the past and he has given us consistently bad performances. My story hinged on subtle emotions and he did not deliver at all. However, I ended up cutting out a lot of his parts so it’s halfway decent now. I’ve learned a lot from this shoot and I’m glad that we get to choose our own actors for the next shoot.

The rest of this month is going to be insane. We have a ton of assignments due on Thursday and I’m almost halfway done. We just finished filming a short for the 99 Fire Film competition. Our school forced us into it last minute so it was a rough couple of days especially because some of us had pre-arranged plans already. I had to miss most of the shoot because I had German class. I’m contemplating whether to continue onto the next level or not. I might just study on my own but I feel that is not ideal. However, school is already extremely exhausting and to add more to the school load is going to kill me. I still have a couple of weeks to decide.

Berlinale starts the week after this one and we have to hand in a 6-7 page script during that week as well. I’ve started up a weekly writing group that will hopefully start meeting next week. I’ve also started a small film group with some of the girls and we’re hoping to start filming small projects on the weekends. We all have ideas and the boys are off doing their own thing. School is going to get even busier after this. I feel really stressed but I’m also very excited for all that there is to come. I am learning so much and experiencing so much.

One of my classmates absolutely adores me. It’s a weird feeling to have someone compliment you on every aspect of your person. He literally does not see a flaw in me which is disconcerting and my other classmates love to tease me about it (they adore him). He’s like the father I used to wish that I had. I was used to not having a father figure. I seem to have a penchant for meeting elderly men who change my life in ways that I cannot comprehend. I feel like something big and amazing is coming. I say this because when I was a toddler, my parents had a restaurant. An elderly man visited every summer and he saw that I was bored and lonely and taught me to read. Every time after that, he would bring me more books or small games to teach me. It changed the way I perceived the world because I spent half my childhood and teenage years hiding in books. I think it is what kept me rooted all these years when I could have gone off the deep end. Perhaps the appearance of another wise and kindly old man is a sign that my life is going to be affected in profound ways. He was also the one who was kind enough to host me in Austria during the Christmas holidays.

I’ll try my best to be diligent in updating this blog but it seems like I’m not going to have a social life from now on. I don’t even have time to continue painting nowadays and I really want to because it is a good way to de-stress. I haven’t had time to focus on myself either because I’m always exhausted but I feel nothing but excited for all there is to come! I’ve already noticed a huge change in myself as a person. I’ve never been such a positive person in my life. Well I still need to work on my self esteem issues but I feel so enthusiastic about everything else that it hardly seems to matter. I feel a little sad that I don’t have time to talk to friends or even hangout with people outside of my school. I’ve been flaking a lot on my friends from outside of school because I just don’t have time. I don’t even have time to do photoshoots that I have been thinking about for the past while. I also wish I had time to workout…

I’m glad that I’m getting through my goals for the year already though. Good luck to everyone and their goals for the year!

Paradise

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Hello again!

I just finished a week of Screen Arts in school with the most amazing tutor ever! She was such a lovely woman, very passionate about the subject and extremely kind. All the things I learned through my Humanities degree came back into play as a chunk of it was integral for Screen Arts which is largely theory based. I’m actually very interested in getting back into the subject again so I have ordered some Jung and Freud books as well as some extra film books. I’m very excited to dive deeper into these topics and hopefully it will help me write better stories. We watched a lot of clips from a diverse range of films this week and I really want to watch all of them in it’s entirety. I’ve actually developed a newfound appreciation for documentaries and am actually very excited for our documentary module later on in the school year. I’m also very interested in experimental filmmaking and animation! Next week we dive back into our scripts which I’m not so excited for. We also have a pile of assignments that are due as well.

I need to find some time to indulge in more films and books because I’ve been too busy lately. I watched a documentary yesterday called How to Make Money Selling Drugs which was very interesting however it didn’t seem to have a real point to it. Tomorrow my roommate and I will be attending a full day of premieres at the Raindance film festival which I’m very excited for! We will be watching a set of shorts, two documentaries and one film. Talk about a long day.

My trip to Switzerland has been cancelled because it is MUCH too expensive. I could buy half of a camera with that money. Instead, I will continue my plans of going to Czech and Austria but I will also be going on a short weekend trip to Dresden with some friends!

I’m planning on trying to add more useful habits to my daily schedule. I’m also super tired so I think I should start doing some yoga in the morning to wake myself up. I need to start working out again.. I am also hoping to start doing 10 minutes of writing first thing each morning which will hopefully help me improve.

Also, I mentioned that I was an extra in a short film in my last post. They were extremely behind time for their shoot so we were placed into a different scene. It was really fun filming and we managed to point out some continuity issues that the crew missed. Yay us!

All in all, I absolutely adore Berlin!

Freut mich!

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On Wednesday night I was sick for the first time since coming here. That was my first instance of homesickness or rather, asking myself why I did this to myself. I assume it was the late night power cappuccino that made me sick and I ended up puking 3 times in succession. It was not fun as I was induced with chills and felt like I was going to pass out. I rarely find myself in situations where I vomit but there I was. I felt really sick and really alone.

Yesterday I was worried about meeting up with my classmates since my stomach was still a little bit tender from the night before.  We met at a famous bar called Paris Bar. There were some x-rated photographs and quotes which was very.. interesting. It was quite expensive as well. My classmates seem pretty nice so far and most of them are not really party people so I felt a bit relieved. It’ll be easier for me to fit in! As I thought, everyone there that day was younger than me however, there is apparently a 62 year old man who will be taking the course with us as well which is pretty cool. I’m starting to become more excited about starting class.

One of my classmates lives really far and was looking for a place that is closer so I may have a new roommate! I’ll be glad because it’s way too quiet by myself. I really miss having a cat around. I am actually EXTREMELY tempted to get a cat but it’ll be a very bad idea. First of all, there will be the added cost. If I travel, I will have to pay for a sitter. It will be a huge hassle bringing the cat back with me (I refuse to abandon it). If I bring it back with me, my cats will be very pissed and I don’t think we can support 3 cats and 3 turtles. Hopefully I get a roommate soon and it’ll all be good.

Muskoka Trip

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Last week, I went on a trip to Muskoka (2.5 hours north of Toronto) with my boyfriend for a few days since we won’t be able to take any trips together for a long time. Long distance for such a long period of time is going to be hard. We stayed at Northridge Inn and Resorts using a groupon that we bought a month ago. The Inn inside was lovely and located on the edge of a beach. There were a bunch of complimentary activities at the Inn including: kayaking, canoeing, free movie rentals (very up-to-date movies might I had), hot tub (which was right outside our door), swimming pool, sauna, bonfire, and our own fireplace in the room. Also, as part of our groupon package, we got a basket of breakfast delivered to our room every morning. The breakfast itself was nothing special but I can’t complain. The only major complaint was that whenever we turned on the A/C it would sound like a giant truck was rumbling through the room. The staff were absolutely lovely and very kind and helpful. They even refused to take our tip at the end! I’ll definitely plan future excursions here!

Here is our room. I found it weird that we had two double beds but we ended up using the second one as storage so that’s alright.
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The view outside the Inn

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This was our view when we went hiking in another town! It’s so beautiful!

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We also went horseback riding but I didn’t bring my camera for that since it would have been awkward. Anyways, 6 days til my big move!