Unexplained

I am so tired. We’re currently in the pre-production period of our TV series with the working title: Dream Therapy. The writers (I am one of them) are currently having the time of their lives trying to write the episodes and figure out the details. The main problem is that we have 5 episodes of 5 minutes each which is extremely limiting for the idea that we all agreed on. Not to mention, we have another writer thrown at us who was not there for any of the brainstorming, pitching and choosing of the topic. He doesn’t like the idea at all and doesn’t want to be there either so it’s becoming a struggle. Not to mention, our show-runner is quite condescending and basically think we’re stupid and assumes way too many things without listening to our ideas properly.

We, the three main writers have been going out to brainstorm ideas and talk out episodes the past few days after class but our fourth writer has not joined us so we have no idea how this will work out…

Our story was actually chosen by the tutors because of the unique concept of there being a dream therapist and her encounters with her strange patients through their dreams. However, our show-runner and our fourth writer want to remove the whole dream aspect which would make it like any other therapy show, such as Web Therapy. We shall see what happens since we need to have a rough outline of all the episodes by Monday. Hopefully we will still be able to make a great final product!

It’s really rough trying to brainstorm in a classroom that has no A/C or ventilation. We have to keep the windows closed because it’s too loud and we can’t hear anything. I always have to sit on the floor in the middle of the hallways during our breaks because I can’t take it.

I’ve been partying a lot recently which I don’t know if it’s good or bad (By a lot.. I mean 1-2 times a week compared to my 1-2 times a month before). My alcohol tolerance has reached new levels and it worries me. Apparently my body is also resistant to other things so I guess that is good? I’m struggling with trying to accept this side of me. I feel like people that I know back home will judge me for it. Some friends here judge me for specific decisions I have made and it makes me want to withdraw more. I don’t know how to handle my conflicting self confidence. Sometimes I’m okay with myself and then other times it drops to dangerously low levels.

I need a jobbbbbb… I neeeed money. There’s so many things I want to do and try but I need money for that. *Sigh* I think it’s also not good that I have so many interests because I never have time to do anything. I miss having the time to sit down and enjoy a good book. However, things will calm down a bit for me in a couple of weeks since the writing will be done and the rest of the team will be scrambling. Or maybe not since I will be directing an episode and there will be a lot of planning for that as well.

I’ve been neglecting my health and it’s starting to haunt me. I keep having random allergic reactions but I don’t know to what. It’s getting more and more serious each time. My roommate’s mother prescribed some natural medications for me which I should look into soon. I’m really bad at juggling health, school and my social life. I think in the end I will have to choose one and it would definitely be film. It is really really hard to be healthy when your schedule gets so unpredictable. We’re starting to discover that it’s a 24/7 kind of job. I hope I can keep my social life for now though because I might go insane…

Also, some friends have mine are thinking of starting a climbing group so I’m excited to try that out (especially since I’m afraid of heights).

I can’t believe I’m almost done my first year of film school. Time passed so fast.

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