Ich habe eine anstrengende Woche.

Today was the last day of my German class. I have decided to continue with the next level which means that I will be giving up some of my evenings. I hope the workload won’t be too crazy. The course starts at the end of next month which I’m not very happy with because there’s a long gap where I wouldn’t be consistently learning German. But I think I will start using Duolingo again in the meantime now that I’m starting to get the basics down. I also have a few textbooks to flip through. The course is supposed to end in May and I hope they will have the next level right after. I’m hoping to finish the intermediate levels by the end of this year.

We’ve been without water since this morning. However, we have just discovered that our shower and toilet still works which is good enough for now. I think the pipes might have frozen over due to the sudden dip in temperature. There’s been a string of bad things happening in the past couple of months. First we were without a fridge for over a month, then I had my visa problems, then no internet for over a week, then my headphones and my roommate’s set of travel passes were stolen and now this. I’ve also been having a lot of problems with banking and other bureaucracy things. Hopefully things will settle after this month is over. I’ve been sleeping poorly lately and I don’t know why. Overall it’s been very exhausting and mentally draining. But it makes me more determined.

Things are going to just keep getting crazier and busier but I’ll be ready.

Alles gut!

Aside

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It’s been awhile since I have updated! I’ve been internet-less for the past while and only got it back two days ago. It was a bit rough because there was a lot of work I needed to do for school that required the internet and I also needed to send important emails. It has been a stressful couple of weeks and there’s still a lot to do. Our shoots went fairly well though I was the last person to shoot and therefore my energy levels were extremely low. I was also really dissatisfied with my actor as we have worked with him in the past and he has given us consistently bad performances. My story hinged on subtle emotions and he did not deliver at all. However, I ended up cutting out a lot of his parts so it’s halfway decent now. I’ve learned a lot from this shoot and I’m glad that we get to choose our own actors for the next shoot.

The rest of this month is going to be insane. We have a ton of assignments due on Thursday and I’m almost halfway done. We just finished filming a short for the 99 Fire Film competition. Our school forced us into it last minute so it was a rough couple of days especially because some of us had pre-arranged plans already. I had to miss most of the shoot because I had German class. I’m contemplating whether to continue onto the next level or not. I might just study on my own but I feel that is not ideal. However, school is already extremely exhausting and to add more to the school load is going to kill me. I still have a couple of weeks to decide.

Berlinale starts the week after this one and we have to hand in a 6-7 page script during that week as well. I’ve started up a weekly writing group that will hopefully start meeting next week. I’ve also started a small film group with some of the girls and we’re hoping to start filming small projects on the weekends. We all have ideas and the boys are off doing their own thing. School is going to get even busier after this. I feel really stressed but I’m also very excited for all that there is to come. I am learning so much and experiencing so much.

One of my classmates absolutely adores me. It’s a weird feeling to have someone compliment you on every aspect of your person. He literally does not see a flaw in me which is disconcerting and my other classmates love to tease me about it (they adore him). He’s like the father I used to wish that I had. I was used to not having a father figure. I seem to have a penchant for meeting elderly men who change my life in ways that I cannot comprehend. I feel like something big and amazing is coming. I say this because when I was a toddler, my parents had a restaurant. An elderly man visited every summer and he saw that I was bored and lonely and taught me to read. Every time after that, he would bring me more books or small games to teach me. It changed the way I perceived the world because I spent half my childhood and teenage years hiding in books. I think it is what kept me rooted all these years when I could have gone off the deep end. Perhaps the appearance of another wise and kindly old man is a sign that my life is going to be affected in profound ways. He was also the one who was kind enough to host me in Austria during the Christmas holidays.

I’ll try my best to be diligent in updating this blog but it seems like I’m not going to have a social life from now on. I don’t even have time to continue painting nowadays and I really want to because it is a good way to de-stress. I haven’t had time to focus on myself either because I’m always exhausted but I feel nothing but excited for all there is to come! I’ve already noticed a huge change in myself as a person. I’ve never been such a positive person in my life. Well I still need to work on my self esteem issues but I feel so enthusiastic about everything else that it hardly seems to matter. I feel a little sad that I don’t have time to talk to friends or even hangout with people outside of my school. I’ve been flaking a lot on my friends from outside of school because I just don’t have time. I don’t even have time to do photoshoots that I have been thinking about for the past while. I also wish I had time to workout…

I’m glad that I’m getting through my goals for the year already though. Good luck to everyone and their goals for the year!

Update

I’m currently stealing internet at my friends’ apartment.

Next week, we start filming our first major projects. I’m really excited because this time we will be filming our own scripts! I might post up mine if I’m happy with the results. Our supervising Director for the week asked why I changed my original ending because he loved it and thought it was beautiful. Our screenwriting tutor didn’t like it so I changed it but now I’m happy that I get to use it again. Our supervising Director told me to film all four different endings (including the ones suggested to me by the screenwriting tutor and the DOP) and then choose my favorite during editing.

I’m going to try to be more proactive with this blog and start on some of the posts that I’ve been meaning to create.

On a side note, I got my roommate into comics woohoo! She’s only dipped her toe in but she shall be addicted soon enough. I’m very behind on my comics though…

Etimasia

I’ve gotten a good start on my New Years resolutions. I found several decently priced German courses and have registered for one. I have to give up my weekends for awhile but I think it’s a good sacrifice to finally be able to speak some German. After the first level, I will have to start sacrificing some evenings for German. Hopefully I will be intermediate by the end of the year! I’ve invested in some cheap paints and a cheap electric guitar package so we shall see where I go with that. I want to be super focused on being creative this year. I want to be able to get my ideas out of my head and into reality. I may also join my roommate in some dance classes but we shall see because it’s all in German. It will probably improve my German AND my fitness though! I’m just worried about injuring myself…

I’m a bit excited to start school again! I miss seeing my classmates everyday~ Hopefully we can start some of the projects that I have suggested as well.